Apologies for the lack of blog updates, as expected our time in the Cook Islands has been uneventful – Exactly as we wanted. Life quite literally is a beach.
How to create a simple life. Be on an island:-
• That’s 20 miles by 20 miles wide.
• Where the only bus routes are Clockwise & Anti Clockwise.
• That has nothing but “bounty beaches”.
• That has super friendly inhabitants.
• Where the only supermarket on the island has full shelves once a week when the cargo boat lands.
• Where everything closes on a Sunday, except the Churches & the Pubs (Hic! Amen.)
• Where you’ll never hear the annoying ring of a mobile phone – there aren’t any.
• Where petrol prices only change once every 3 months when a new shipment is delivered.
• Where the TV has only one channel but still manages to show Euro 2008!
• Where there are only two main roads. One “ocean circular road” one “inland circular road”.
• Where, even though restaurants aren’t abundant there is an Italian serving pizza (note: J’s a happy girl!).
Now I know I’ve got to be careful here; if you’re reading this and you’re not one of the “lucky retired” then you’ll probably have had, or are currently having (naughty internet use!) a day at work, the last thing you want to hear is about life in the sun. I’ll keep it short, it’s been a wonderful few weeks and the perfect answer to the excess of America. There – Done. That wasn’t so bad was it.
I should also mention we did meet our meet our first chavs - The lesser spotted Kiwi Chav. Our experience of Kiwi Chavs is based on a bus journey where we had the misfortune to be directly in front of them. The description is as follows:
- Drunk at 7am …. That’s right seven in the AM!!!
- Not afraid of giving the wife a good open handed “love tap” in public.
- Whistling at their children like dogs to get their attention.
- Peppering their sentences with swear words that’d make Roy Chubby Brown proud.
- A wife that is over 40 and dressing like a 14 year old.
- Two uncontrollable children whom the parents had no inclination or ability to control.
Ps: Life is amazing – Golden beaches, temperatures never below 20 degrees, drinks at mid-day (why not), lying in every day, sunshine each day, wonderful tans, great food and great company. Sorry – couldn’t resist.
Sunday, 22 June 2008
Wednesday, 4 June 2008
Lost With A Scooter
We have spent the few days here whizzing around the Island on a scooter (Andy passed his scooter driving test out here – no doors to close!), swimming in the sea and cooking for ourselves. The greatest joy for me on the 1st day, after doing a bit of shopping was getting back to the flat and making myself a cheese sandwich - just cheese in bread - (if you’ve travelled through America, you’ll understand, simplicity in food is not their forte!). Enough of my self-imposed food issues – We are in paradise now!
Rarotonga itself resembles the island in Lost, with a big ominous volcanic rock at the centre, an impenetrable rainforest surrounding it, and a beautiful sandy beach (And probably the same amount of people living on it too!) Note: no black mist or polar bears to date.
Anyway, it’s been cloudy since we’ve arrived but still hot (25+), and the sea is perfect for swimming in. Andy swam out to the reef yesterday, and saw fish. I read a book on the beach and watched sand crabs scuttle about. I believe this is how our month will be spent. Happy Times!
Needless to say, we probably won’t be updating the blog too often over the next month – but keep leaving comments as it’s nice to know you still remember us (though once Andy’s beard is fully grown you may not recognise him).
Janine
Rarotonga itself resembles the island in Lost, with a big ominous volcanic rock at the centre, an impenetrable rainforest surrounding it, and a beautiful sandy beach (And probably the same amount of people living on it too!) Note: no black mist or polar bears to date.
Anyway, it’s been cloudy since we’ve arrived but still hot (25+), and the sea is perfect for swimming in. Andy swam out to the reef yesterday, and saw fish. I read a book on the beach and watched sand crabs scuttle about. I believe this is how our month will be spent. Happy Times!
Needless to say, we probably won’t be updating the blog too often over the next month – but keep leaving comments as it’s nice to know you still remember us (though once Andy’s beard is fully grown you may not recognise him).
Janine
Saturday, 31 May 2008
The Eating Of Squirrels
I must admit, I’m a little concerned that my friends and family consider to be a “squirrel eater”. It wasn’t even close (nine votes – you know who you are!) …. Is it something I’ve said, do I have a strange reaction that I don’t know about when I’m in the company of squirrels? Please enlighten me.
The correct answer to the poll was in fact – Option D (Janine has eaten more veggie burgers than pizza in America). I kid you not – It surprised me as well for the girl we all know to be something of a pizza addict but the veggie burger v pizza score came in at an astounding (12/6).
Thanks again for voting – I’m off to see if I can fulfill my apparent destiny, watch out squirrels.
Will the one person that did in fact get the answer correct please come forward to collect your prize.
The correct answer to the poll was in fact – Option D (Janine has eaten more veggie burgers than pizza in America). I kid you not – It surprised me as well for the girl we all know to be something of a pizza addict but the veggie burger v pizza score came in at an astounding (12/6).
Thanks again for voting – I’m off to see if I can fulfill my apparent destiny, watch out squirrels.
Will the one person that did in fact get the answer correct please come forward to collect your prize.
Hippies’, Hot Stuff & Some Rather Impressive Hills
Having done our research as clever little travelers, by reading the Rough Guide, we knew San Fran had no train stop, so we booked our ticket to go to the nearest station – Oakland. The Rough Guide explicitly says Oakland is the ONLY connection to San Fran, whereas the nearest town, Emeryville, has NO transport at all. Just try to imagine the surprise of two travelers fast asleep in their bunks, hearing over the intercom that “If you’re travelling on to San Fran get off right now in, you’re at Emeryville – the ONLY connection to San Fran!” ….. We’re talking some very quick dressing (t-shirt inside etc etc) and a super quick exit from the Amtrak. Thanks once again Rough Guide!
We have now spent 5 very enjoyable nights in San Francisco. Great weather in a beautiful city with lots to see / do and lots of great places to eat / drink. The only one downside we found was the hills – They really are something special (see photo below). This meant a five minute walk from A – B became either a 2 minute journey (down) or a 20 minute journey (up). We now have extremely strong legs!
Now we’re getting towards the end of the USA experience I should note that it’s been an interesting cultural experience. Rather than talk about the difference is politics, poverty levels or socio-economic demographics I’ll say this ……. American restaurants just can’t spice their food (Hot Chicken Wings in Athens as the exception)! Now I’m not a “Vindaloo Boy” and never go crazy but English restaurants do know how to prepare a spicy dish. This was my firm believe when I arrived in San Fran and on eating another curry (note: given my boredom to date I did ask for something hot) another mild, mild, mild dish …. Then ………………………... Has anyone heard of Birds Eye Chilies’? ... Apparently the preparation of choice in San Fran is not to disseminate the spice over a whole dish, simply to throw kill-you-hot chilies into the food. It’s was J saying “are you Ok – you’ve gone very very red” that gave it away - Not to mention the fact that I thought I’d eaten a hot lump of coal!
It’s a popular belief in England that we have the “most surveyed country” (eg CCTV cameras) but I swear the yanks have us licked. I grant, you can’t see CCTV in every town centre, however when you see a sign on a bus saying “we are currently recording your picture (nothing new there) ……. “and your voice” you do start to think that society is being monitored closely over here. Do I feel safer for being monitored “no” … have I remained silent on local bus journeys “yes”.
As we had 5 nights in San Fran we went to see the new Indiana Jones movie. Aparently, to make an good / solid Indiana Jones film, the recipe is as follows:
- One portion of Eastern European bad guys (who can’t aim for love nor money)
- Two portions of rather angry natives (again see comment above for aiming skills)
- A heaped teaspoon of a greedy friend, who Indy just can’t quite save
- One portion of handsome man, preferably Harrison Ford (note if your HF is past its best, a fresher, younger HF substitute can be used)
- Three portions of rather elaborate ancient doors and booby traps
- One snake (obviously)
- More than a hint of nasty insect
- A dash of power mad villain
- Finally, top off with a nice clean Black and White plot – Morality is clear people!
Haight Ashbury is the Hippy part of San Fran, lots of tie-dye and incense burners. It has a bounty of vintage shops and something called “Amoeba Records”.
On entering Amoeba Records I honestly thought I’d lost my wife – It was the strange vacant glint in her eye, the slightly open mouthed expression and then fact that she almost sprinted into the music section. I should explain that Amoeba Records is an IKEA size store containing nothing but music and film. Folks, if you have a muso as a wife, expect to lose her, and a large portion of cash if you ever visit this establishment. (Note: Mum, more vinyl on the way home!).
Top 3 tourist things we did in San Fran:
1) Alcatraz – Excellent audio tour of the prison, smelt of bird poo.
2) Napa / Sonoma Valley Wine Tour – Beautiful countryside - Hic.
3) Went to the Golden Gate bridge (for those of you that don’t know this – J has a fascination with bridges – odd but true!)
New stop LA then the Cooks Islands!
We have now spent 5 very enjoyable nights in San Francisco. Great weather in a beautiful city with lots to see / do and lots of great places to eat / drink. The only one downside we found was the hills – They really are something special (see photo below). This meant a five minute walk from A – B became either a 2 minute journey (down) or a 20 minute journey (up). We now have extremely strong legs!
Now we’re getting towards the end of the USA experience I should note that it’s been an interesting cultural experience. Rather than talk about the difference is politics, poverty levels or socio-economic demographics I’ll say this ……. American restaurants just can’t spice their food (Hot Chicken Wings in Athens as the exception)! Now I’m not a “Vindaloo Boy” and never go crazy but English restaurants do know how to prepare a spicy dish. This was my firm believe when I arrived in San Fran and on eating another curry (note: given my boredom to date I did ask for something hot) another mild, mild, mild dish …. Then ………………………... Has anyone heard of Birds Eye Chilies’? ... Apparently the preparation of choice in San Fran is not to disseminate the spice over a whole dish, simply to throw kill-you-hot chilies into the food. It’s was J saying “are you Ok – you’ve gone very very red” that gave it away - Not to mention the fact that I thought I’d eaten a hot lump of coal!
It’s a popular belief in England that we have the “most surveyed country” (eg CCTV cameras) but I swear the yanks have us licked. I grant, you can’t see CCTV in every town centre, however when you see a sign on a bus saying “we are currently recording your picture (nothing new there) ……. “and your voice” you do start to think that society is being monitored closely over here. Do I feel safer for being monitored “no” … have I remained silent on local bus journeys “yes”.
As we had 5 nights in San Fran we went to see the new Indiana Jones movie. Aparently, to make an good / solid Indiana Jones film, the recipe is as follows:
- One portion of Eastern European bad guys (who can’t aim for love nor money)
- Two portions of rather angry natives (again see comment above for aiming skills)
- A heaped teaspoon of a greedy friend, who Indy just can’t quite save
- One portion of handsome man, preferably Harrison Ford (note if your HF is past its best, a fresher, younger HF substitute can be used)
- Three portions of rather elaborate ancient doors and booby traps
- One snake (obviously)
- More than a hint of nasty insect
- A dash of power mad villain
- Finally, top off with a nice clean Black and White plot – Morality is clear people!
Haight Ashbury is the Hippy part of San Fran, lots of tie-dye and incense burners. It has a bounty of vintage shops and something called “Amoeba Records”.
On entering Amoeba Records I honestly thought I’d lost my wife – It was the strange vacant glint in her eye, the slightly open mouthed expression and then fact that she almost sprinted into the music section. I should explain that Amoeba Records is an IKEA size store containing nothing but music and film. Folks, if you have a muso as a wife, expect to lose her, and a large portion of cash if you ever visit this establishment. (Note: Mum, more vinyl on the way home!).
Top 3 tourist things we did in San Fran:
1) Alcatraz – Excellent audio tour of the prison, smelt of bird poo.
2) Napa / Sonoma Valley Wine Tour – Beautiful countryside - Hic.
3) Went to the Golden Gate bridge (for those of you that don’t know this – J has a fascination with bridges – odd but true!)
New stop LA then the Cooks Islands!
Sunday, 25 May 2008
Room With A View And A Basement Without One
3 Things we did in Seattle:
- Laughed hysterically at John Terry (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha - sorry – I just can’t help it! )
- Met J’s parents and went on the Mono-Rail (nowhere nearly as exciting as it ought to have been)
- Found a shop that sold English Tea (don’t take it for granted folks – You get withdrawal symptoms when deprived for more than a month!)
Two other stories from Seattle:
- Apparently announcing that you're on Honeymoon to anyone that will listen on arrival in a hotel gets you a great room – who knew? Thank you the Hyatt - The 29th Floor Hotel Suite which was without doubt bigger than our flat in London was a very pleasant experience (not to mention the complimentary chocolates and champers!). Janine did refuse to step within a meter of the hotel room window but who needs the edge of a room.
- The Seattle Underground Tour is overrated. When they have the audacity to announce (note: once payment has been received) that the “Underground Tour” is really “just walking round a few basements” you know you’ve been done. Factually interesting, visually deprived.
- Laughed hysterically at John Terry (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha - sorry – I just can’t help it! )
- Met J’s parents and went on the Mono-Rail (nowhere nearly as exciting as it ought to have been)
- Found a shop that sold English Tea (don’t take it for granted folks – You get withdrawal symptoms when deprived for more than a month!)
Two other stories from Seattle:
- Apparently announcing that you're on Honeymoon to anyone that will listen on arrival in a hotel gets you a great room – who knew? Thank you the Hyatt - The 29th Floor Hotel Suite which was without doubt bigger than our flat in London was a very pleasant experience (not to mention the complimentary chocolates and champers!). Janine did refuse to step within a meter of the hotel room window but who needs the edge of a room.
- The Seattle Underground Tour is overrated. When they have the audacity to announce (note: once payment has been received) that the “Underground Tour” is really “just walking round a few basements” you know you’ve been done. Factually interesting, visually deprived.
Saturday, 24 May 2008
Mountain Views, Mashed Potato & A Minor Lapse Of Concentration
After spending a lovely day with my new Mum & Dad (ie Janine’s folks) in Seattle we headed over on the bus / ferry to Port Angeles where they now live.
To describe their new town as “different from Middlesbrough” would be like saying “John Terry was a little upset on Wednesday night”. J reassures me that Boro is not all smog, gak and heavy industry but even she acknowledges that Port Angeles with it’s clean air and mountain views is really something special. You know you’ve left Boro behind when you see deer in the back garden!
J’s parents, having just moved to the States are setting up their new life and America being America a big part of that is being able to drive the American way. J’s Dad took us out to the beach, a 160 mile roundtrip from Port Angeles through some gorgeous scenery. He was doing so well, mastering the stopping at junctions, traffic lights with no amber and keeping pace with the ever changing speed limits. There was however one brief lapse of concentration where he reverted to his natural English driving and drifted into the left hand lane …. Needless to say all the passengers in the car and the oncoming traffic reminded him where he was.
On our parental road-trip we stopped for sustenance at a lovely roadside café. If you’ve ever wondered where the animals heads go after a successful American Hunting Party has passed through the forest I give you the Forks Coffee Shop / Diner (aka: The Animal Graveyard Diner). Never outside an English stately home has such a fine selection of animal heads been displayed. See photo below for exhibit 1 of many.
Our trip to Port Angeles has left us well fed! J’s pining for home cooked food (like mama-used-to-make) was satisfied with mashed potato with gravy and cheesy scones courtesy of her mum; my constant craving for Steak (seriously – it’s like an addiction) was sated at J’s Auntie June’s with a meat feast BBQ (and significant portions of green stuff to placate the veggie one).
Thought for the day – If I put together all the animal parts that I’ve eaten in the USA would I be able to make a full creature?
- Pig Ribs
- Chicken Wings
- Beef Steak (multiple varieties)
- Lamb Shank
It’d be a monster – Albeit a very hollow, headless monster (faces & giblets are not on the menu!!).
A & J
To describe their new town as “different from Middlesbrough” would be like saying “John Terry was a little upset on Wednesday night”. J reassures me that Boro is not all smog, gak and heavy industry but even she acknowledges that Port Angeles with it’s clean air and mountain views is really something special. You know you’ve left Boro behind when you see deer in the back garden!
J’s parents, having just moved to the States are setting up their new life and America being America a big part of that is being able to drive the American way. J’s Dad took us out to the beach, a 160 mile roundtrip from Port Angeles through some gorgeous scenery. He was doing so well, mastering the stopping at junctions, traffic lights with no amber and keeping pace with the ever changing speed limits. There was however one brief lapse of concentration where he reverted to his natural English driving and drifted into the left hand lane …. Needless to say all the passengers in the car and the oncoming traffic reminded him where he was.
On our parental road-trip we stopped for sustenance at a lovely roadside café. If you’ve ever wondered where the animals heads go after a successful American Hunting Party has passed through the forest I give you the Forks Coffee Shop / Diner (aka: The Animal Graveyard Diner). Never outside an English stately home has such a fine selection of animal heads been displayed. See photo below for exhibit 1 of many.
Our trip to Port Angeles has left us well fed! J’s pining for home cooked food (like mama-used-to-make) was satisfied with mashed potato with gravy and cheesy scones courtesy of her mum; my constant craving for Steak (seriously – it’s like an addiction) was sated at J’s Auntie June’s with a meat feast BBQ (and significant portions of green stuff to placate the veggie one).
Thought for the day – If I put together all the animal parts that I’ve eaten in the USA would I be able to make a full creature?
- Pig Ribs
- Chicken Wings
- Beef Steak (multiple varieties)
- Lamb Shank
It’d be a monster – Albeit a very hollow, headless monster (faces & giblets are not on the menu!!).
A & J
Friday, 23 May 2008
Hoboville v Hotel Babylon & A Man With A Short Straw
After the Minneapolis experience and the missing Mississippi Mile we didn’t bother to read the Rough Guide to Vancouver and instead just headed out into the city to explore. It was all going so well – Nice shops (J found another great vinyl store), superb café’s / restaurants and nice cobbled streets. Then we turned the corner ……… BAM ……… HOBOVILLE.
The scene we were confronted with was Shaun Of The Dead meets Resident Evil Extinction meets 28 Weeks Later (minus the flesh eating , although it should be noted that just because we didn’t see it doesn’t mean it wasn’t happening). A whole 2 city blocks of nothing but homeless, druggies and hookers (and homeless druggie hookers!). Groups of people shuffling along the sidewalks, staring into the middle distance as though their life spirit had left them with last night’s vomit.
The following extract is taken from the Vancouver Rough Guide (read on the return to our zombie free hotel):
“It’s a grim sight – Derelict buildings, boarded up shops and battered streets; the domain of addicts, pimps, prostitutes and the homeless. It is strongly recommended that you avoid this area after dark and preferably during the day as well when you should consider a bus or taxi to pass through this area.”
Rough guide karma had kicked in, I will never doubt the Rough Guide again!
On a more upbeat note, the hotel we stayed at in Vancouver was amazing (Opus hotel)! A beautiful room, excellent location and once again a sandwich-man only a button press away. I mention the hotel, not to wallow in my sandwich-man world but rather to note something incredibly surreal about the establishment …. It was just like Hotel Babylon!!! Not just the décor but more the fact that everyone there was beautiful 24/7, from the people on Check In to the Bell Boy to the Sandwich Man (sorry – he had to get one more mention) they all looked like they were just out of filming - All it needed was an Ex-Eastender as hotel manageress and they’d be set.
During our stay we headed out to Stanley Park, a huge natural woodland area on the edge of Vancouver. Unfortunately the day we decided to do this it began raining and didn’t stop. Being weather hardened Brits, we laughed in the face of the torrential rain and headed out on bikes, up and around the 4 miles bike trail. We saw very few people (which was nice after the freaky zombie experience); very few people that is apart from one crazy man with a brolly (that he wasn’t using despite the rain), who kept popping up at various points along the way - Always in front of us, which was pretty odd considering we were on bikes and he was walking.
All in all, it was very pretty (ie green) and we got superb views of Vancouver bay (ie blue). We saw black squirrels (did anyone realise there was such a thing?), big Redwoods, and Janine even insists she saw a bear (although given that there aren’t any bears in Stanley park I’m somewhat skeptical and think this may in fact have just been a large black squirrel!).
Finally, we’ve now noticed it a few times over here – Americans have very defined job responsibilities and their not afraid to stick rigidly to them!
This couldn’t have been more apparent that on re-entering the USA from Canada. We pulled up to the American boarder Immigration / Customs to be met by a large building housing 6 turnstiles all with booths for paperwork inspection. The boarder station had some 15 Immigration Police all lolling around on our arrival just waiting for an opportunity to spring to life and fulfill their “Boarder Patrol Code” as advertised for all to see on large posters in the station. Point 5 of the code: “to process all entrants to the country with speed and respect” …. The operation looked like a coiled spring – At any second due to burst to life and show us all the American efficiency that has conquered the world..... Spring to life they did not!
15 border patrol men – 6 gateways – it shouldn’t take long to process 40 bus passengers should it? Well, no, it shouldn’t … and it wouldn’t if more that 1 of these 15 was actually doing anything other than sitting on their ass. Rather than open up extra gates and get us moving, 14 of the 15 police adopted the stance of “sorry Sir – we only process the US citizens”. This left one poor chap (short straw?) to process the 20 + non-US passengers. As per point 8 of the code “we welcome your comments and opinions in regards to our service” I’m going to write a strongly worded letter to the head of USA Immigration ………… Perhaps once I’ve safely exited the USA!
A & J
Ps: Thanks for all those that voted on the recent "Beard Poll" and especially to those that voted in favour of the furry chin. Given the draw (not quite sure how!) it's now been decided that beard growing will commence in the Cook Islands (ie after passing through USA immigration). For all of you that voted for the "Ginger Tramp" option - All I have to say is this ... I'm homeless and jobless, the beard is en-route - Deal with it! :0)
The scene we were confronted with was Shaun Of The Dead meets Resident Evil Extinction meets 28 Weeks Later (minus the flesh eating , although it should be noted that just because we didn’t see it doesn’t mean it wasn’t happening). A whole 2 city blocks of nothing but homeless, druggies and hookers (and homeless druggie hookers!). Groups of people shuffling along the sidewalks, staring into the middle distance as though their life spirit had left them with last night’s vomit.
The following extract is taken from the Vancouver Rough Guide (read on the return to our zombie free hotel):
“It’s a grim sight – Derelict buildings, boarded up shops and battered streets; the domain of addicts, pimps, prostitutes and the homeless. It is strongly recommended that you avoid this area after dark and preferably during the day as well when you should consider a bus or taxi to pass through this area.”
Rough guide karma had kicked in, I will never doubt the Rough Guide again!
On a more upbeat note, the hotel we stayed at in Vancouver was amazing (Opus hotel)! A beautiful room, excellent location and once again a sandwich-man only a button press away. I mention the hotel, not to wallow in my sandwich-man world but rather to note something incredibly surreal about the establishment …. It was just like Hotel Babylon!!! Not just the décor but more the fact that everyone there was beautiful 24/7, from the people on Check In to the Bell Boy to the Sandwich Man (sorry – he had to get one more mention) they all looked like they were just out of filming - All it needed was an Ex-Eastender as hotel manageress and they’d be set.
During our stay we headed out to Stanley Park, a huge natural woodland area on the edge of Vancouver. Unfortunately the day we decided to do this it began raining and didn’t stop. Being weather hardened Brits, we laughed in the face of the torrential rain and headed out on bikes, up and around the 4 miles bike trail. We saw very few people (which was nice after the freaky zombie experience); very few people that is apart from one crazy man with a brolly (that he wasn’t using despite the rain), who kept popping up at various points along the way - Always in front of us, which was pretty odd considering we were on bikes and he was walking.
All in all, it was very pretty (ie green) and we got superb views of Vancouver bay (ie blue). We saw black squirrels (did anyone realise there was such a thing?), big Redwoods, and Janine even insists she saw a bear (although given that there aren’t any bears in Stanley park I’m somewhat skeptical and think this may in fact have just been a large black squirrel!).
Finally, we’ve now noticed it a few times over here – Americans have very defined job responsibilities and their not afraid to stick rigidly to them!
This couldn’t have been more apparent that on re-entering the USA from Canada. We pulled up to the American boarder Immigration / Customs to be met by a large building housing 6 turnstiles all with booths for paperwork inspection. The boarder station had some 15 Immigration Police all lolling around on our arrival just waiting for an opportunity to spring to life and fulfill their “Boarder Patrol Code” as advertised for all to see on large posters in the station. Point 5 of the code: “to process all entrants to the country with speed and respect” …. The operation looked like a coiled spring – At any second due to burst to life and show us all the American efficiency that has conquered the world..... Spring to life they did not!
15 border patrol men – 6 gateways – it shouldn’t take long to process 40 bus passengers should it? Well, no, it shouldn’t … and it wouldn’t if more that 1 of these 15 was actually doing anything other than sitting on their ass. Rather than open up extra gates and get us moving, 14 of the 15 police adopted the stance of “sorry Sir – we only process the US citizens”. This left one poor chap (short straw?) to process the 20 + non-US passengers. As per point 8 of the code “we welcome your comments and opinions in regards to our service” I’m going to write a strongly worded letter to the head of USA Immigration ………… Perhaps once I’ve safely exited the USA!
A & J
Ps: Thanks for all those that voted on the recent "Beard Poll" and especially to those that voted in favour of the furry chin. Given the draw (not quite sure how!) it's now been decided that beard growing will commence in the Cook Islands (ie after passing through USA immigration). For all of you that voted for the "Ginger Tramp" option - All I have to say is this ... I'm homeless and jobless, the beard is en-route - Deal with it! :0)
Sunday, 18 May 2008
A Rocky Ride....
We were both a little worried about 38 hours on a train together in a confined space. Any-how, just to report, J got off after 5 hours with a "headache" and I'm now single again.
Just kidding, the journey was actually OK and the views through the Rockies were just spectacular, we're still happily married and have just celebrated our first month anniversary.
Due to the length of the journey we'd booked a "roomette" - The next best thing to a bedroom on the train - It's a cabin with two chairs that converts into a bunk bed at night. Do you remember how much fun bunk beds were when you were children? The difference here being your bedroom wasn't rocking at around 45 degrees at random intervals during the night. Not being the most sensible fellow and lets face it ... a little childish I bagsied top bunk - On seeing the safety harness I realised this was an errant decision.
Meals on the train were a time to meet fellow travellers, chat about life, where they were going and why - Highlights as follows:
Breakfast with Pat. A really nice guy from North Dakota who we chatted to for a couple of hours before being asked to leave the breakfast car as they needed to tidy up for lunch. Pat if you're reading this it was a pleasure chatting to you and I hope you manage to make it through Dante - The Inferno. Keep in touch!
Over dinner we were seated with our first classic Fat White American - Nice guy but conversationally not that gifted and certinaly not blessed with a grasp of world geography. The conversation when something like ....
Yes - I'm sure the rivers do run faster in the West
Yes - It's impressive that your "one friend" did catch a 2 foot salmon.
No - Contrary to your firm belief, England is not further North than Canada. (The only thing we can think is that he got England confused with Greenland.)
Yes - Of course it's perfectly acceptable for you to have no inclination to leave Northern America. As you so eloquent put it - "why would I, everything you need is here".
Yes - Three slices of dessert cake is too much.
On arrival into Seattle we jumped for joy knowing our 38 hour train journey was over. Only to realise that we had another 3 hours on a bus to Canada - Not helped by a sizable portion of Canadian bureaucracy at customs.
No - I'm not a terrorist
No - I have no intention of going to a farm in Canada.
Yes - We are married but our names do differ on the passports.
No - I've never been to Canada before
No - After this interrogation I have no intent of living here.
We're now in Vancouver and slumming in a rather nice hotel called the Opus.
Yes - It is expensive.
No - I don't care.
A & J
Just kidding, the journey was actually OK and the views through the Rockies were just spectacular, we're still happily married and have just celebrated our first month anniversary.
Due to the length of the journey we'd booked a "roomette" - The next best thing to a bedroom on the train - It's a cabin with two chairs that converts into a bunk bed at night. Do you remember how much fun bunk beds were when you were children? The difference here being your bedroom wasn't rocking at around 45 degrees at random intervals during the night. Not being the most sensible fellow and lets face it ... a little childish I bagsied top bunk - On seeing the safety harness I realised this was an errant decision.
Meals on the train were a time to meet fellow travellers, chat about life, where they were going and why - Highlights as follows:
Breakfast with Pat. A really nice guy from North Dakota who we chatted to for a couple of hours before being asked to leave the breakfast car as they needed to tidy up for lunch. Pat if you're reading this it was a pleasure chatting to you and I hope you manage to make it through Dante - The Inferno. Keep in touch!
Over dinner we were seated with our first classic Fat White American - Nice guy but conversationally not that gifted and certinaly not blessed with a grasp of world geography. The conversation when something like ....
Yes - I'm sure the rivers do run faster in the West
Yes - It's impressive that your "one friend" did catch a 2 foot salmon.
No - Contrary to your firm belief, England is not further North than Canada. (The only thing we can think is that he got England confused with Greenland.)
Yes - Of course it's perfectly acceptable for you to have no inclination to leave Northern America. As you so eloquent put it - "why would I, everything you need is here".
Yes - Three slices of dessert cake is too much.
On arrival into Seattle we jumped for joy knowing our 38 hour train journey was over. Only to realise that we had another 3 hours on a bus to Canada - Not helped by a sizable portion of Canadian bureaucracy at customs.
No - I'm not a terrorist
No - I have no intention of going to a farm in Canada.
Yes - We are married but our names do differ on the passports.
No - I've never been to Canada before
No - After this interrogation I have no intent of living here.
We're now in Vancouver and slumming in a rather nice hotel called the Opus.
Yes - It is expensive.
No - I don't care.
A & J
Thursday, 15 May 2008
The Missing Mile In Mini-Minneapolis
Minneapolis is a very pretty and small city with nice architecture, beautiful green spaces, an abundance of coffee shops and the biggest mall in the world (I kid you not - this place really does have the biggest mall in the world - They're so proud!). The only one, slight problem with Minneapolis is ................ There's sod all to do. Seriously, nada.
The first morning we set out to walk the city with our "must see sights" list taken directly from the Rough Guide.
Fact – The author of this Rough Guide (9th Ed) has never been to Minneapolis!
We went out to find the much touted “Mississippi Mile”. The Rough Guide describes the Mississippi Mile as “a great place to walk along the river with it’s impressive falls and numerous bars / restaurants for dinning and entertaining”.
It’s lies I tell you …………. LIES!!!
The Mississippi Mile is a tow path. The Mississippi Mile has zero bars and / or restaurants and I’ve seen more impressive waterfalls in the urinal of a men’s toilet (god – I’m so eloquent I could write for the Rough Guide – At least it’d be accurate!).
In sheer desperation for something to do we found ourselves in a games arcade, J’s numerous protests ceased on seeing “House Of The Dead (4)” picking up the pump action shotgun quicker than you can say Zombies (see photo below for the crazed zombie killer look!). We did obviously play numerous other games …… All I’ll say is that pool is my domain - Apparently Air Hockey is Janine’s.
The only person there enjoying the Zombie killing more that Mrs Smith was a 3 year old child being taught one of the basics of American life – How to shoot a minimum of 40 people per minute (again see photo – These people really exist!).
To carry on our “lets act like American Teenagers” phase we just had to go hang out in The Mall Of America. What can I say – It’s a mall …. it’s big …. In fact it’s very big.…. And it’s in America.
Even though we were in a nice hotel (The Grand) and pressing a button made a man appear at the door with sandwiches (god I love that button!), you'll be pleased to know that the traveller spirit has remained intact. Breakfast was provided by Goldman Sachs who occupied the meeting room across the hall, we snuck out of our room at 8am to steal their bagels and muffins. In addition the only time we drank in the hotel bar was "Free Cheese & Wine Hour" - Although on our request for a 4th glass of wine the waitress did get a little shirty. Damn cheapskates!
And that pretty much sums up our time in Minneapolis. We’re now preparing for a 38 hour train ride across the top of America … That’s right folks … you heard it here first …. 38 hours on a train. Oh god.
The first morning we set out to walk the city with our "must see sights" list taken directly from the Rough Guide.
Fact – The author of this Rough Guide (9th Ed) has never been to Minneapolis!
We went out to find the much touted “Mississippi Mile”. The Rough Guide describes the Mississippi Mile as “a great place to walk along the river with it’s impressive falls and numerous bars / restaurants for dinning and entertaining”.
It’s lies I tell you …………. LIES!!!
The Mississippi Mile is a tow path. The Mississippi Mile has zero bars and / or restaurants and I’ve seen more impressive waterfalls in the urinal of a men’s toilet (god – I’m so eloquent I could write for the Rough Guide – At least it’d be accurate!).
In sheer desperation for something to do we found ourselves in a games arcade, J’s numerous protests ceased on seeing “House Of The Dead (4)” picking up the pump action shotgun quicker than you can say Zombies (see photo below for the crazed zombie killer look!). We did obviously play numerous other games …… All I’ll say is that pool is my domain - Apparently Air Hockey is Janine’s.
The only person there enjoying the Zombie killing more that Mrs Smith was a 3 year old child being taught one of the basics of American life – How to shoot a minimum of 40 people per minute (again see photo – These people really exist!).
To carry on our “lets act like American Teenagers” phase we just had to go hang out in The Mall Of America. What can I say – It’s a mall …. it’s big …. In fact it’s very big.…. And it’s in America.
Even though we were in a nice hotel (The Grand) and pressing a button made a man appear at the door with sandwiches (god I love that button!), you'll be pleased to know that the traveller spirit has remained intact. Breakfast was provided by Goldman Sachs who occupied the meeting room across the hall, we snuck out of our room at 8am to steal their bagels and muffins. In addition the only time we drank in the hotel bar was "Free Cheese & Wine Hour" - Although on our request for a 4th glass of wine the waitress did get a little shirty. Damn cheapskates!
And that pretty much sums up our time in Minneapolis. We’re now preparing for a 38 hour train ride across the top of America … That’s right folks … you heard it here first …. 38 hours on a train. Oh god.
Chicago – Top 5
Well Chicago was quite simply amazing. Everyone raves about New York (and with good reason!) but Chicago is really up there in terms of a great city.
On arrival we dashed from the B&B over to a bar showing the final premiership games….. As usual the sports bar was packed with Man Utd – Pseudo Fans (have any of these people ever been to Manchester?). I managed to get through the whole Man Utd winning the league experience without mentioning a plane crash or noting the semblance of Rooney to Shrek. I still feel proud of myself.
We both looked on with disbelief & joy as Boro totted up 8-1 score line against poor Sven. Me thinks a new manger is on the cards.
The rest of the day was spent preparing for Crowded House – only the 4th time J’s seen them since they reformed last year…not quite stalking by your standards Bex, but up there…! They were playing in an intimate venue called the Vic Theater and we got there in good time to get to the front by the barrier. Highlights were Private Universe and singing along to Don’t dream it’s over & Weather with you. As they were less than a 1000 people in the audience it was a great atmosphere and the band were on good bantering form. After the 2 and half set J enquired about a set list from the underused security guy - he was no use, so I requested one from the roadie on stage: “Excuse me mate, Can I have a set list?” This came out as a cross between a Kiwi / Oz / Barrow boy accent, but we were obviously talking the same language as it seemed to do the job! Result – one happy wife!
The next day was spent exploring Chicago, and whilst perusing our map to work out the best way home we were accosted by a man who said “Follow me, I’m going that way” and off he sped with us behind him. Once we’d put aside the natural British tendency to consider any stranger that talks to you a potential killer, we discovered we’d found Doug, our temporary Chicago tour guide & American commentator. Doug, if you are reading this, thanks for helping us out and keep in touch!
Ray’s B&B was amazing and in a great location. On the street corner was a pub called the Corner (you don’t have to be creative here!), where we popped in for one on the way to get some food, realised the pints of Miller Lite were $1.50 and the pub had an ATM, and that we were in trouble! We then proceeded to spend the remainder of our Chicago budget drinking Miller Lite and asking the guys and the dog at the bar various inane questions about the rules of American sports (the dog wasn’t much help). To their credit they guys didn’t once call us stupid English, though they may have thought it!
Chicago was the 1st place we felt sad we hadn’t had enough in, and it goes on the top 5 of desirable places to live. In honour of High Fidelity here are the top 5 so far (in no particular order!):
New York
Chicago
Athens GA
Sydney
Christchurch
Now in Minneapolis so blog will follow …
A & J
Ps: Thank to all those who voted on the question of Debbie and Doyle - New poll will follow shortly - I think you'll like it!
On arrival we dashed from the B&B over to a bar showing the final premiership games….. As usual the sports bar was packed with Man Utd – Pseudo Fans (have any of these people ever been to Manchester?). I managed to get through the whole Man Utd winning the league experience without mentioning a plane crash or noting the semblance of Rooney to Shrek. I still feel proud of myself.
We both looked on with disbelief & joy as Boro totted up 8-1 score line against poor Sven. Me thinks a new manger is on the cards.
The rest of the day was spent preparing for Crowded House – only the 4th time J’s seen them since they reformed last year…not quite stalking by your standards Bex, but up there…! They were playing in an intimate venue called the Vic Theater and we got there in good time to get to the front by the barrier. Highlights were Private Universe and singing along to Don’t dream it’s over & Weather with you. As they were less than a 1000 people in the audience it was a great atmosphere and the band were on good bantering form. After the 2 and half set J enquired about a set list from the underused security guy - he was no use, so I requested one from the roadie on stage: “Excuse me mate, Can I have a set list?” This came out as a cross between a Kiwi / Oz / Barrow boy accent, but we were obviously talking the same language as it seemed to do the job! Result – one happy wife!
The next day was spent exploring Chicago, and whilst perusing our map to work out the best way home we were accosted by a man who said “Follow me, I’m going that way” and off he sped with us behind him. Once we’d put aside the natural British tendency to consider any stranger that talks to you a potential killer, we discovered we’d found Doug, our temporary Chicago tour guide & American commentator. Doug, if you are reading this, thanks for helping us out and keep in touch!
Ray’s B&B was amazing and in a great location. On the street corner was a pub called the Corner (you don’t have to be creative here!), where we popped in for one on the way to get some food, realised the pints of Miller Lite were $1.50 and the pub had an ATM, and that we were in trouble! We then proceeded to spend the remainder of our Chicago budget drinking Miller Lite and asking the guys and the dog at the bar various inane questions about the rules of American sports (the dog wasn’t much help). To their credit they guys didn’t once call us stupid English, though they may have thought it!
Chicago was the 1st place we felt sad we hadn’t had enough in, and it goes on the top 5 of desirable places to live. In honour of High Fidelity here are the top 5 so far (in no particular order!):
New York
Chicago
Athens GA
Sydney
Christchurch
Now in Minneapolis so blog will follow …
A & J
Ps: Thank to all those who voted on the question of Debbie and Doyle - New poll will follow shortly - I think you'll like it!
Sodden Smugness...
It all begins with our departure from Memphis. As we were having our last meal in Memphis (you guessed it folks - more pork!) we could see the horizon getting blacker and blacker. As the rain clouds closed in we decided to hop in a taxi and get to the Amtrak a little early - better than getting wet right? As the cab door closed the heavens opened and two smug little Brits watched as others scrambled for cover. The torrential rain continued through the cab ride and when we pulled up outside the Amtrak station 2 hours early it was still hammering down.
As the cab pulled away the smugness subsided on the realization that we were on the wrong side of the station and no-where near the entrance. As we dashed around the station with our backpacks looking like something from "SAS Are You Tough Enough" (answer – no) we became more and more sodden with each second. At the station entrance we were informed that due to the weather a "sink hole" had blocked the track and we'd be taking a bus to meet up with our train further down the line. After a rather surreal hour of sitting in completely sodden clothes and watching "Once Upon A Time In Mexico" the fattest bus driver in the world announced he was leaving early. He muttered something about the other 18 passengers that had train tickets but hadn't yet arrived and then sped off into the night one hour early, leaving these poor people to whatever fate awaited them ... at this point the smugness returned. A new rule - Arrive early for travel in America!
As the cab pulled away the smugness subsided on the realization that we were on the wrong side of the station and no-where near the entrance. As we dashed around the station with our backpacks looking like something from "SAS Are You Tough Enough" (answer – no) we became more and more sodden with each second. At the station entrance we were informed that due to the weather a "sink hole" had blocked the track and we'd be taking a bus to meet up with our train further down the line. After a rather surreal hour of sitting in completely sodden clothes and watching "Once Upon A Time In Mexico" the fattest bus driver in the world announced he was leaving early. He muttered something about the other 18 passengers that had train tickets but hadn't yet arrived and then sped off into the night one hour early, leaving these poor people to whatever fate awaited them ... at this point the smugness returned. A new rule - Arrive early for travel in America!
Saturday, 10 May 2008
Memphis City Pig Blues
Memphis just about done!
Did we:
A) Go and see Elvis's Graceland
B) Lap up the culture in museums and art galleries
or
C) Eat rather a lot of Pig.
.....
I guess no answer is required as we're in the "Pork BBQ Capital Of The World"! As you can imagine Janine has had her fill of culinary delights here - The term "Vegetarian" is not in the Memphis dictionary. It's not that they do bad veggie food ............. They don't do ANY veggie food! I've managed to sustain my wife on a healthy mix of fries and coleslaw (the sides which accompany my PIG!)
Jokes aside we have actually done some cultural / touristy stuff here in Memphis - The Museum Of Rock & Soul explained the progression from Blues to Rock & Roll and how it all started in Memphis (apparently they're also famous for music as well as grilled PIG! - Who knew!). We did have to compete for space in the museum with around 50 school kids who didn't seem to appreciate the experience - Screaming and running amok amongst the Elvis exhibits. We then boarded a paddle boat down the Mississippi only to find we were to be accompanied by another 50 hyper school kids. Apparently threatening to throw small children overboard is frowned upon - Again, who knew.
The music scene here in Memphis is pretty amazing - Like Nashville, there is live music just about everywhere you go but blues rather than country. Even as we're sat writing this a band is setting up at 2.15 on a Saturday afternoon. Obviously listening to live Blues musicians has been the reason we've visited so many different bars.....
Next stop is Chicago on an overnight sleeper tonight. Thank God no more Greyhound, at least not for a couple of weeks!
Ps: The pool score now stands at 17 / 8 to Mr Smith.
Pps: I will never eat Pig again - The growth of a snout may indicate that I've overdosed.
Ppps: No, we didn't go to Graceland.
Did we:
A) Go and see Elvis's Graceland
B) Lap up the culture in museums and art galleries
or
C) Eat rather a lot of Pig.
.....
I guess no answer is required as we're in the "Pork BBQ Capital Of The World"! As you can imagine Janine has had her fill of culinary delights here - The term "Vegetarian" is not in the Memphis dictionary. It's not that they do bad veggie food ............. They don't do ANY veggie food! I've managed to sustain my wife on a healthy mix of fries and coleslaw (the sides which accompany my PIG!)
Jokes aside we have actually done some cultural / touristy stuff here in Memphis - The Museum Of Rock & Soul explained the progression from Blues to Rock & Roll and how it all started in Memphis (apparently they're also famous for music as well as grilled PIG! - Who knew!). We did have to compete for space in the museum with around 50 school kids who didn't seem to appreciate the experience - Screaming and running amok amongst the Elvis exhibits. We then boarded a paddle boat down the Mississippi only to find we were to be accompanied by another 50 hyper school kids. Apparently threatening to throw small children overboard is frowned upon - Again, who knew.
The music scene here in Memphis is pretty amazing - Like Nashville, there is live music just about everywhere you go but blues rather than country. Even as we're sat writing this a band is setting up at 2.15 on a Saturday afternoon. Obviously listening to live Blues musicians has been the reason we've visited so many different bars.....
Next stop is Chicago on an overnight sleeper tonight. Thank God no more Greyhound, at least not for a couple of weeks!
Ps: The pool score now stands at 17 / 8 to Mr Smith.
Pps: I will never eat Pig again - The growth of a snout may indicate that I've overdosed.
Ppps: No, we didn't go to Graceland.
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